How to Ask for Monetary Gifts

The dilemma of how to ask a monetary wedding gift without sounding rude is a common problem. As more and more couples are now financing their own weddings (and with the rise in the cost of weddings) it is understandable that couples may prefer a monetary gift. In today's culture, with the many couples living together before they get married, many couples find they already have all the household goods they need. So how do you go about asking for money?

A Poem in Your Invitation

Although some couples have come up with creative ways to ask for monetary gifts, or charitable donations on their wedding invitations, the truth of the matter is that doing so is still considered rude. Wedding gifts of any kind should never be mentioned in the invitation, as this implies that guests are expected to give a gift. A wedding invitation should simply convey that you would like someone to join in sharing your special occasion.

In many cases, the couple will end up putting some sort of gift information on their invitation, regardless of whether it’s seen as rude or inappropriate. Be tactful if you do prefer a monetary gift, rather put on the invite that guests can call Sue (perhaps your mom or close relative) to find out what you would prefer. This designated person can then tactfully say that you have together a gift registry, however, you are saving up to put down a deposit on a new home. This way guests are informed that you would actually prefer money, without you asking for it directly.

Even if you only want money as a gift, it’s a good idea to put together a gift registry at a nationwide (or online) store. Many older folk feel it’s inappropriate to give a monetary gift and this will enable them to still give you something you’d like.

Spread the Word

Ask your family members and the bridal party to spread the word when asked by other guests. As mentioned above, have them tell guests that you are registered at a gift registry store, but you are in fact also trying to save up some money for a deposit on a home, or whatever the case may be.

Edit your responses to certain friends and family members when asked if you are registered. Some close friends and family members won't bat an eye if you tell them you are hoping for cash, but others may think it is rude, in which case you should mention your registry only.

Having said all this, each situation is different depending on your guests and their understanding of your situation with regards to money vs gifts. You’ll know whether or not your guests will be offended by the request for monetary gifts.