Writing a Killer Best Man Speech

The Best Man’s speech is incredibly difficult to write. Whilst the Groom and Father of the Bride can get away with delivering a humour-free speech, there is an air of expectation surrounding Best Man’s speech, which simply doesn't exist elsewhere.

Even though it should be a relaxed, informal speech, there are a few points that need to be included to ensure it lives up to everyone’s expectations.

Firstly, and most importantly, it’s important that you introduce yourself to the guests. Although some of the guests may know you, there will be many that have travelled from far and might not have a clue who you are and how you landed the important role of best man. So, introduce yourself and let guests know what your relationship is to the groom and how long you’ve known each other. Once the introductions are out the way, thank the “hosts” of the wedding (whether it be the wedding couple or the parent’s of the couple) and mention what a lovely evening it is and how everyone is having a wonderful time.

The next important item on your agenda is to complement the bride on how gorgeous she looks and how lucky a man your friend is to have someone like her. Following that, you need to turn your attention to the bridesmaids and mention how beautiful they’re looking too, and thank them for assisting the bride on her special day.

You need to propose a toast to the father and mother of both the bride and the groom, and thank the guests for their gifts, compliments and for sharing the day with the couple.

After the above formalities it’s a great idea to open the “actual speech” to the groom with a funny story. No matter how tempting it may be, exclude the following from your speech:

• Blasphemy or swearing and anything relating to religion or politics
• Don’t comment on how long it took for him to meet someone
• Past failed relationships or anything to do with his “wild younger days”
• Don’t mention any “under the cover” details or any topics of a sexual nature
• The bachelor party
• Do not reveal secret’s about the groom or make inappropriate mother-in-law jokes
• Forego the prospect of embarrassing the couple by mentioning their “first night” on honeymoon.

Rather, if you want to embarrass the groom (without going too far), consider on of the following topics:

• How you played pranks on each other
• A funny haircut or outfit you remember
• A holiday you spent together
• Drinking: don’t mention blackouts, vomiting or one-night stands! Instead, keep it light and mention funny moments that occurred when you’d both had a drink or two. (Try and keep this low key.)
• Dating his current wife: how did he react the first time they met, were there any embarrassing moments that he mentioned to you that would be ok to include?
• As you can see, there are far more topics that should be excluded than included. Remember: If in doubt, leave it out! You can’t risk embarrassing the bride on her big day.

Now it’s time to be a little more serious and speak from the heart. You don’t have to get soppy, but it would be nice to thank the groom for the many years of friendship you have shared, tell the bride and her family what a great addition they are accepting to their family, and instead of saying something like “we won’t be spending as much time together now that he’s married” replace this by saying how you are looking forward to making some memories with the two of them together. Tell the couple how happy you are for them and that you know they are meant for each other.
Before ending your speech, include a funny (but appropriate) joke, one liner or quote.

Finish off by proposing a toast to the bridesmaids, parents of the bride as well as the groom and finally a toast to the newly married couple.